I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
