creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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