he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
