I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
