Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Panties = found
Randomize
