I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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