A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
