Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
