ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
