So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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