i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
