You're a womanizer and a bitch.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
