We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
