Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
