It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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