I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
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