Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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