She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize