its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i think i just lost a toe
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
