i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize