I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
