i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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