super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
