Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
