Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
