Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
