Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Come share oat with me in your robe
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
