fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
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he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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