I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
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No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
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I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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