But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
