Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
