Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
