Porn is love you can see.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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