so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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