dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
