Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
