The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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