I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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