I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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