From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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