he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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