We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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