nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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