dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
