there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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