it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
