What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
