Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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