i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
