For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
