I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Everything about him screamed your future.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
