Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Randomize
