Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
