I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize