Kiss
Puke
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
