I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
