Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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