I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
