I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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