I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
