Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Randomize
