The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
