hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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