Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Someone shit on the floor
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
