Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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