So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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