Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
and you fell through a lawn chair
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
