i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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