it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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